220,919 shares
Crossing a one-way street Looks both ways
174,320 shares
Hits snooze on on the alarm clock Spends the next 9 minutes wide awake worrying it accidently turned off
192,204 shares
farts in public when it's cold out checks ass to see if steam came out
169,554 shares
Read about diseases with one in a million prevalence Convinced I have at least six of them
106,372 shares
Slight chest discomfort Better write my will
105,313 shares
3+5? Better use calculator
138,081 shares
Game Auto-Saves Better save it manually just to be sure
434,467 shares
in a room full of people and I need to clear my throat better hold it, or they'll think I have something to say
126,568 shares
Effective 99.9% of the time? I don't like those odds
379,081 shares
Thinks something insulting about a stranger Immediately thinks nice things in case they can read minds
252,573 shares
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